Monday, February 1, 2016

I Am Is With You

"Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.  I consecrated you.  I appointed you a prophet to the nations.'  Then I said, 'Ah, Lord God!  Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.'  But the Lord said, 'Do not say, 'I am only a boy," for I am with you to deliver you.'"
--Jeremiah 1: 4-8

Do you remember your first day of school?  I had four.  I remember JW Adams Elementary, Pound High School, Centre College, and General Seminary.  A lot of emotions were running through me those four days, but the biggest was fear.  I was afraid mostly of the unknown, of whether or not I was actually ready for this next big step.  Do you remember those days?  Did you feel afraid, unprepared? 

I imagine that is how Jeremiah felt.  I love this passage and have come back to it so many times! We don’t know how old Jeremiah is in this opening passage of the book that bears his name, but we can assume that he’s pretty young, maybe not even a teenager.  So God suddenly speaks to this boy. That’s terrifying enough.  And what does God say, “Before I formed you I knew you…I consecrated you…I appointed you a prophet.”  This would be a monumental task for anyone, let alone someone so young and inexperienced; so Jeremiah’s response is understandable, “I don’t know how to do such a thing, I’m only a boy.” 

How many times do we utter those two words?  "I'm only..." It's so easy to give in to those fears of our own limitations.  I can’t do this because I'm only...whatever.  I can’t do this because I’m not the right age, not the right gender, not the right color.  How many times do we, out of some sort of fear of the unknown, shut someone else down, don’t even give them the chance to undertake something, based on those kinds of characteristic?  She can't do it, she's only a girl.  He's only a kid and doesn't have the experience.  Fear is a pretty powerful thing.  It even tries to hold Jeremiah back.

Yet God does not allow the fear to get the better of Jeremiah.  God tells him not to dwell on his age and those fears of his—you will go, and you will speak, and you have no need to be afraid, because I am with you.  I AM is with you.  God is with you. 

It was true for Jeremiah.  And brothers and sisters, it is true for you, as well.  No matter where you are in life right this moment, no matter what big transition is on the horizon, no matter how much fear is in your heart over the unknown, over starting something new, or facing some kind of tremendous challenge, God will be with you.  God is with you right now.  Do you know that?  Really, truly, do you know that?  Deep down in your heart do you believe it?  There are a lot of things about being a Christian, or being an Episcopalian, that are tough to understand, tough to believe, even.  But I hope you believe that one thing, if nothing else.  Because that is a promise.  It was true for this boy in the 6th century before the birth of Jesus, in a time when his people were about to be overrun by a foreign power and taken into exile, and it is the strongest, most sustainable promise there is.  Do you know why that promise is so sustainable?  Because it is grounded in love.

God loved Jeremiah.  Jeremiah loved God. That is how Jeremiah knew that God would not leave him, even as the Babylonians were besieging Jerusalem.  It’s the same kind of love St. Paul sings to us in that hymn in I Corinthians 13.  That kind of love is patient, it is kind, it is not boastful, it bears all things, and it believes all things.  It believes in hope.  It believes in a better world.  It believes in you, that you are more than your fears because it is a perfect love, and perfect love casts out all fear. 

Pierce Pettis, one of my favorite songwriters has a song called 'That kind of Love' in which he sings a type of love that, in my opinion, is the same type about which Paul writes Pierce sings:  'Love triumphant, love on fire, love that humbles and inspires; love that does not hesitate, with no conditions, no restraint. That kind of love.'   Oh, brothers and sisters,  they will know that we are Christians by that kind of perfect love--for God and for one another--because that kind of perfect love is what casts out the fears of our hearts and transforms those hearts, so that we may transform this world and make it look a little more like the Kingdom.

You want to know to hear a confession of mine?  I was really scared of being a priest.  I even said to God in the days beforehand that it was too big.  But I did it.  Yeah, I was scared of being a priest, but I was terrified of being a rector.  Terrified!  I swore after my ordination that I would never want that kind of responsibility.  Who would?!  There's always someone mad at you, no matter what decision you make!  Yet I am here because God called me here, just as God called Jeremiah, and like Jeremiah I have chosen to hold on to that ever-sustainable promise that God will be with me. I hold on to it because I know God loves me.  I don't know much else, but I know that much.  And knowing that one fact has allowed me to face my fears of the unknown and take those terrifying first steps out in faith. 

 My parish has shown what that looks like.  The folks of Good Shepherd, Asheboro took a chance and chose not to give in to their own fears.  No doubt they heard things like, "He can't do it, he's too young.  He's never been a rector.  He'll come in here and change everything!" Still, they said yes to what God put before them.  They discerned and prayed and made that call because they knew God was with them. Sure, we don’t know exactly where God will call us, and yes, I will make some mistakes along the way; I already have.  But through it all we know God is in it.  We know love is in it.  Knowing that promise will get us through whatever life throws at us, and the possibilities of what God may do in us and through us are endless!

Is God calling you to get ready for something new?  Are you afraid, unsure of what’s in store, like you did on that first day of school, or my parish did when they called me as rector?  Be not afraid.  Because God loves you.  Your brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ love you.  And for what it's worth, I love you.  And if you know that kind of perfect love, all your fears will be cast out, you’ll know God is with you, that God will never leave you, and that God will do amazing things in you. Hold fast to that promise God made to Jeremiah because God has made it to you, as well.  For you, for me, and for us all, that is Good News indeed!