'Jesus said to his disciples, “As the Father
has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my
commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s
commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my
joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
“This is my commandment, that
you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to
lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I
command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does
not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I
have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not
choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that
will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I
am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”'
--John 15: 9-17
Pretty sure Jesus would have given out this Valentine.
Here in his Farewell Discourse, his last teaching to his disciples before his arrest and crucifxion, Jesus tells them that while they did not choose him, he chose them. He even goes so far as to call them friends. Think about that for a second. Plenty like Moses, David, and Joshua had been referred to as servants of God, but friends?! That's pushing it. Still, that's the level of intimacy that Jesus offers his disciples. It is a friendship grounded on a commandment, a mandate--the very mandate we got on Maundy Thursday--to love one another.
Years ago when I was playing baseball in high school I had a coach tell the guys on my team, "You don't have to like each other, but you do have to love each other." At first that didn't make any sense to us, but we came to figure out that, while we may not always get along or agree with each other, we did have to respect each other. We did have to know that we were in this thing together, and that we could count on each other when the chips were down. That's what it meant for our team, our community, to love one another.
This past weekend seven of our awesome youth from Good Shepherd came together to build community and abide in love at our spring lock-in. We played games like moonball, where we had to work together to keep a ball in the air as long as possible. We tried new methods and had to communicate with each other, but we managed to do it 30 times--a North Carolina record! We had a scavenger hunt around the church where we learned more of the fancy church names we use for stuff--like corporal and purificator--and in doing so grew in our identity as Episcopalians. We learned more about each other through ice breaker games. And we worshipped together at a midnight mass in the chapel, where we heard this gospel. At that worship our kids heard Jesus call them friends and heard him say to them, "I chose you." I asked our kids what this gospel meant to them. These were some of their responses:
"I think Jesus is telling us that he wants to relate to us as an equal, that he comes to us like everyone else, not holding his power over us."
Another response: "It's a two way street. Jesus does his work to befriend us, and we have to do the same thing."
And: "Friendship with Jesus isn't something that's unattainable."
Our kids get it, y'all!
They get that what Jesus calls us into is friendship, not servanthood. It's not a relationship where we have to fear Jesus, but one in which we can lean on him, trusting that he is always there. What's more, he calls every single one of us into that kind of relationship for the purpose of not only being his friend, but holding and supporting one another in friendship as well. That means loving one another even when we don't like one another. As we each build beloved community in our respective churches and towns we may not always agree, but we must always remember that we are in this thing together. It's true for our kids as they build their community together, and it's true for each of us as we discern who it is God is calling us to be in our communities of faith.
What I said to our kids last Friday night at that midnight mass, I say to you now: remember that Jesus choo-choo-chooses you! Yes, there are times when we don't choose Jesus. It was true for the disciples, and it's true for all of us. We neglect others. We choose not to pray. We pass judgments based on the way someone looks or the decisions their made with their lives. We mess up in every conceivable way. Yet he still chooses us. He still chooses you. And he will. Time and time again Jesus will choose you. Here's the best part: there's nothing you can do to convince him otherwise. You can't earn it! That's what grace is. You literally can't mess this friendship up! We need only to believe it and to abide, as a branch abides in the root vine. When we abide in his love, when we realize that it is something that is freely given to us, then we are spurred into action to show his abiding love to a hurting world. When we realize Jesus has chosen us then we choose to be his hands and feet and heart to our community--in our churches, in our towns and cities, and in our world. When we realizeJesus has chosen broken, mistake-prone folks like us to be his friends, then we choose to number among our friends the poor, the outcast, and every kind of broken person the world would tell us to reject. But in order to do so we must first remember who we are: friends of Jesus.
I wonder: what does it mean to you to hear Jesus call you his friend? What does it mean knowing that he choo-choo-chooses you? For me it means knowing that no matter how many mistakes I make, he is always there, calling me to do nothing more than to abide in him and his love. It means freedom from the tyranny of what Martin Luther called the terrified conscience, wondering whether or not I am saved, because I know he has chosen me and will continue to do so again and again. And because I know, it means I am able to show his kind of love, the kind one cannot earn, the kind that's always available, to every person I meet. That what it means for me. What about you?
As some of you know my all time favorite saint is Dame Julian of Norwich, whose feast day was Tuesday of this week. In a vision she once saw something the size of a hazelnut in the palm of God's hand and heard a voice saying to her, "This is everything I have made. And I made it all for love." In a time of plague, war, and death, Dame Julian knew what it meant to be a friend of Jesus, what it meant to abide in his love, what it meant to know Jesus had chosen her. This is how, in spite of her hardships, she was able to hear Jesus say to her, "All manner of things will be well." I was blessed to see how our kids knew that last Friday night, as they prayed, worshiped, and built community together--all for the love of Jesus and one another. That love will stay with them, as the one who calls them friends will never leave them. And he will never leave you. He will always choo-choo-choose you. He will always love you, so that you can love one another, so that you can remember we are all in this thing together. After all, that's what friends are for.
Dame Julian and the hazelnut.
